A Slightly Different Rite
by Jihan Al-Kwasarmi
Summary: During 'Soul Music', when the wizards of the Unseen University perform the Rite of AshkEnte, they summon a rather...unexpected Death.


**Disclaimer: **I own neither the _Discworld_ series by Terry Pratchett nor the _Sandman_ series by Neil Gaiman. If wishes were horses my room would be inundated with manure. And hence flies.

"And _that,_" said Ridcully, "is the Rite of AshkEnte. Quite easily done, without all of those unnecessary smells and dribbley candles and…"

His voice trailed off as he noticed exactly _who_ the spell had summoned. Standing in the middle of the circle was what appeared to be a pale-skinned teenage girl. She was dressed most curiously, at least to all the students present, who were staring at her in the manner of those who have heard of the species 'female' but have never expected to get this close to one.

_Why is she wearing trousers?_ thought Ridcully arbitrarily. _Black trousers, black boots, a black sleeveless top, a studded black belt and bracelet. Oh, and black hair. Very monochromatic. And what's that symbol she's wearing round her neck?_

Meanwhile, the girl was glancing around in an absent manner and smiling quietly to herself. She broke the silence by asking, "Well?"

Ridcully cleared his throat. "Erm, pardon me, young lady, but who are you?"

She turned and gave him an unreadable look. "You know who I am, Mistrum. You did the Rite stuff; it doesn't summon just anyone."

"But…" How are you supposed to tell Death she's not what you expected?

"By the way, just so I know, you're not going to try to imprison me here so that no one will ever die again, solely because you're afraid growing old, or anything silly like that, are you?" Her expression had become concerned.

Ridcully shook his head rapidly. "Oh, no nothing of the sort. We only want to ask you some questions, and then you can go. That's all."

"Good. It's just that once happened to one of my younger brothers, and he had to stay in a glass ball for years. I remember, I was so worried…" Her eyes grew distant for a moment; then her smile returned. "Anyway, shoot."

A puzzled expression settled on the Archchancellor's face. "Shoot?"

"I mean, ask your questions."

Before Ridcully could begin, Ponder Stibbons interjected excitedly, "You have brothers?" And at the same time, Big Mad Adrian, his voice cargoed with suspicion, said, "Excuse me, I don't

want to cause any trouble, right, but is this Death or not? I've seen pictures, and they didn't look like her."

"Whoa, whoa, one question at a time, guys," she said, holding up her hands. "Yeah, I know this isn't exactly what you expected, but I feel more comfortable this way. Besides, the guy you usually see's taking a break, and his grand-daughter's a little busy right now, so I thought I'd drop in myself and take a look around, and then you guys made with the summoning." As an afterthought, in Ponder's direction, she added, "And yes. Three. Possibly four."

Ponder opened his mouth to follow up with another question, but was beaten to it by Tez the Terrible. "But where's your scythe?"

She fixed him with a withering look. "Oh, you've _got_ to be kidding. A _scythe?_ What would I do with a _scythe,_ of all things?"

Tez was momentarily flummoxed. "Well…em…"

"Although it's not too unreasonable to assume I have a scythe, I mean, I have all those floppy hats and I never wear them…" By now she was thinking out loud to herself. "…I dunno, I might have a scythe somewhere around…"

"Ahem." Ridcully cleared his throat again, shooting a look at Ponder, who was becoming red in the face from having his questions interrupted as soon as he opened his mouth. "May I start with the questions? You know, the reason we summoned her here?"

The assembled wizards all nodded, and, "Go ahead," said Death, once again smiling cheerfully.

"What do you know about the new music?"

"Oh, that? Don't worry about it." She twisted her bracelet a couple of times. "Can I go now?"

"Not yet. Just what do you mean, 'don't worry about it'?"

"Exactly what I said. It came here, it'll run its course, and it'll leave. And I don't think there's anything you can do about it. So don't worry."

She spoke quietly, but her words, despite not being all in capitals, had the same finality about them that the usual Death's words had.

"Besides, it's fun."

Ridcully was unable to conceal his surprise. "Fun? Fun! It's got people acting in ways they shouldn't be! Everyone seems to be going completely crazy and you think it's _fun?_

She considered him rather seriously. "Yes, I think it's fun. I've been to lots of music shows, and I really like them. So many different people go to them; some go for the music, others because their friends are going, other people because of the vibe, and there're always so many _different_ people, all at the same event for different reasons. I think it's _great."_

"But…music isn't _meant _to…Ponder, show her the box." Ponder opened the lid of the box he was holding. Music, slightly tinny but still recognizable, drifted out into the room.

Death sighed. "Look, if you're interested in what's _meant_ to be, find a maze somewhere and go talk to my older brother and he'll set you straight." She brushed a strand of hair back behind an ear. "Can I go _now?"_

Ridcully thought for a moment. Then, "Would you care for some breakfast, young lady?" he asked.

Death's smile was positively brilliant. "That'd be _great._ How nice of you to offer."

She extended her hand; he took it, and led her out of High Energy Magic Building. Ponder followed, desperately trying to get his questions in edgeways.

**A/N:** Just a random idea I got while reading _Sandman_. I don't know whether it's been done before. Personally, I think Gaiman's version of Death beats Pratchett's version hands down, especially in terms of originality. I mean, the first time she shows up, she quotes from _Mary Poppins_ and puts on a pair of sunglasses.

Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman wrote a book together: _Good Omens._ It's hilarious. But you probably already know that.


End file.
